#33 I am the operator

Hello, i am the operator. I press buttons and switch levers. I can make all the dicisions i want and everything will bend to my commands. 

Right now i’m listening to classical music wich makes my head feel like it’s in another place, A safehaven. I feel well and my mood is good. Though i do want to feel even better. So i will build a house. This house will be what i’ve always wanted. This will be my dreamhouse.

I will invite others over to come and celebrate my new achievement. Not many will come. I know this because not many appriciate me. It’s not hard to pass by and say something but it almost never happens. Others are shy and kept to them self. They are what you would call a ‘lonewolf’. Or they just want to be left alone by a reason. It does not matter. If i realy want them to talk to me i can make them, i am the operator after all.

Some cold beverage is served and i take a glass off the plate. It’s the last glass, i guess im lucky. I’m just messing with you, i’m not lucky and i never will be, because i am the operator. The last glass was the only glass served.

That brings me to the next subject, living. Yes, i am alive. But i do not always feel alive. I love all the dirty tricks and twisted games i play. That is the only time when i feel alive. I have no urge to do anything else but to do my own things. I feel you’re pain, but it won’t move me. I dont care. And you know why? … exactly what you’re thinking.

Do you know what i am now? I think you do. Tell me and leave a postcard at my doorstep saying you want me to stop doing this awkward thing. Maybe i will listen to you. You might catch my attention by writing me in a green envelope. Green is not my favorite color if that is what you are thinking. It’s red, the color of blood and love. The color red is what makes us fear or love. 

Some others belive heaven is white. Dont take this personally but i think otherwise. I think heaven is red, just like hell. It makes sense if you think about what i just said does it not? It does not matter anyway. I am not trying to start a fight, i hate fights. 

I have never been in a fight. Others do have an opinion on me, but thats okay. If i want them to stop talking i will just have to make them stop talking. There is no link between the others and me. I have no link to the world. And i dont need one, for i am the operator. I dont need help or pitty. It’s irrelevant anyway, because i can make you do whatever i want you to do.

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