I’m sitting here on a bench in the trainstation. The train i need to get to go to school will be here in 9 minutes the clock says. I lean my back against the bench i’m sitting on. The sun breaks trough and i can feel the warmth on my legs and arms. I brush some dust off my new beige pants i bought last week.
People walk by with sandwiches in their hands, a woman with her lipstick is stroking her lips and presses them on each other. I have no idea why she would put on lipstick, but that’s non of my business. A mother with her 3 boys are restlessly waiting for the train to arrive too. The boys are running around the bench, touching it now and then, making the bench vibrate slightly, wich makes my annoyance go up a little bit. The woman sees my face and tells het boys to take it easy… it’s morning. She looks at me and nods her head. I nod back and turn my head to the rails again.
There is a man talking slightly aggrovated a few feet away from me. “What did i tell you! You have to take care of that today!” He explained to the other person on the phone. And it made me think a little. Why do people yell at other people. Do they not listen, or do they have something wrong with their hearing ability?
Speaking about hearing ability, the young guy next to me is playing his eminem song so loud trough his earbuds that i can enjoy the music with him. I don’t mind an eminem song. Bus isn’t he just ruining his hearing ability? Hm… whatever. Not my problem.
I’m suddenly made aware by my phone i got a whatsapp message. I look on my phone, it’s a friend of mine asking me where i am. I unlock my phone and tell him i am waiting for the train to arrive. He messages “ok, i’ll see you soon then” and with that i lock my phone and put it back into my pocket. The notification sound of my phone goes off again. So i take my phone out off my pocket and unlock it again.”oh yeah, your gay” he messages. “You’re” i awnser back while a slim smile appears on my face.
A skinny shy guy around the age of 19 maybe 20 comes walking up on the bench im sitting on. He looks nervous and looks around him as if he’s paranoid about something. I shove myself a little aside and point out to him he can sit down. He looks at me and makes a weak gesture with his hand. “No thanks” he awnsers. “Alright” i say, still makimg space for him if he would change his mind.
A few second later he did change his mind and sat down. I think he is just not the social type, so i tought nothing of it. Suddenly he said to me “have you ever tought about killing yourself?” I look at him in an angle “why would i think about that” i say to him. “Well, you know, people are asshole” he whispers to me. I frown my eyebrows up and say “yeah, you are right. But i’m not letting myself get influenced by other people. They do not decide how i live”. he nods in agreement.
I can hear him sigh while he is sitting next to me. I knew he wanted a reason to not be suicidal, obviously. I put out my hand to him. He looked at me and reached for my hand. When our hands met i told him my name. He took a minute but he then told his name. “You look like a good person” i say to him. “Thanks” he says to me. “So where are you off to?” I ask him. “Well, uh… school i guess” he explaines. “What do you do?” I ask. “I am working on being a writer” he says. I nod my head and say thst is a great choice. He agrees and says “yeah, it is”. For a moment it’s silent between us.
In the distance i can hear the train coming. He looks at me as he stands up. “I do digital design” i tell him. “Ok” he says. I notice he is not paying attention to me anymore. He walks a little towards the rail. The train is coming nearer every second. He get closer and closer to the edge. So i decide to get up, i walk towards him. He’s now crossing the white warning line. My head starts to rush and toughts fly by. I should stop him. There is no need to kill yourself.
The train is nearly here and he is standing on the white edge. I put my hand on his shoulder and tell him “i’ll be your friend Michael” he turns around and looks at me. His eyes start to swell up and he takes a step back. The train goes by us and the door opens.
Let’s go to school i say. He nods, and enters the train with me.
Written by michael kraus.