What a strange situation. I was about to go to my appartment and i had a realy strange thing happen to me. In the weekend i was just minding my own business and suddenly someone stood in front of me. He had beautifull long blond hair. And had mascara on his face. His build was very big. Many big muscles and biceps, as he wasen’t wearing a shirt and only a pair of sandals and short shorts. This is absolutely not how a guy like this should look. Either way he asked me if i wanted to be part of a film he was shooting. I was going to be a random passer by. And he was going to fake attack me by using some wrestle moves. I was surprised by all the things that were going on so i doubtfully said “..y..yes?”. Great! He said. He showed me where i should stand and walk. So i did. I got my position and just cassually walked forward like it was a normal day. Then he charged at me with a high speed while screaming. I knew he wasent going to hurt me.but i got scared either way. So i din’t have to act scared. He grabbed me by my middle and picked me off the ground. Then he threw me on the ground, but somehow in a way i din’t feel any pain. He said to me whispering i should act if i got hurt realy bad. I did my best and formed my face so it looked like i was in agonizing pain.
He laughed victoriously and yelled CUT! Three people with headphones on came out of the people that were watching and congratulated the big guy and me. The big guy came at me while he was smiling. He told me i did a great job and if i was interested in doing a few more shots with him. I tought to myself i didn’t have anything else to do, so i agreed. He then explained to me that what he was shooting was part of a bigger film. And this sketch was a spoof film of lazytown. The girl with the pink hair had evolved into a massive person with lots of muscles and long blond hair.
I actually got a little interested and tought it would be funny to take part in the movie. So i went with him and the three other guys. Behind us were two camera crews that were following us. They seemed to be still filming the big guy and me. Suddenly he said to me while walking next to me. When i tap you on the shoulder i want you to punch me in the face. I widend my eyes and looked at him. Don’t wory he said. Just don’t punch me too hard, he said chuckling. I smiled and agreed. So when he tapped me on the shoulder and i quickly turned to my right and punched him soflty on his cheek. He let out a loud scream and jumped to the side. He screamed CUT! That was perfect! You are a natural he told me. I was flattered but i barely did anything.
After a few more sketches and 2 hours later he said to me. That was the last one for today. I was actually a little sad and wanted to do some more acting, i was actually enjoying it for some odd reason. He told me i could join him again tomorrow if i wished to. I agreed and after he gave me the adress of where i should be tomorrow we parted ways. This was great fun i tought to myself.
The next morning i went to the adress. The big guy was already waiting for me in front of the building. He asked me to come inside, and i followed him up the stairs into the building. It kinda looked like a big hotel from the outside. Once inside he pointed me to a room i should go to. I opened the door of the room and went inside. There was a man, he told me to sit down in front of him and said we should talk business for a moment. I was a little confused but i did as he told me. He gave me a few pieces of paper and said to me, this is a 5 year contract, you can become famous as an actor. my head became a little light. I never tought they would make me sign a contract. I was indeed looking for a job. So i read trough the contract and it all seemed to be in order. I was going to be treated rightfully so i put my signature under every page in agreement to their terms. After that was done he asked me.i he could make a copy of my identification, for legal purposes ofcourse, he said. I agreed and gave him my card. He made a copy of my card on paper and handed the card back to me. Smiling he said, welcome to our hollywood. My eyes opened wide in wonder. Our “hollywood” he said with his fingers going up and down next to his head. You can have a room in this building or you can stay where ever you live. I told him i had a house of my own and that it wasen’t that far away. He nodded and said alright, tell me whenever you need anything as he handed me his card. John will pick you up in a moment so you can catch up on the movie you shot with him yesterday. I thanked him and waited in my seat.
A few minutes later the guy with the long blond hair walked in and asked me, did you sign the contract? I said yes, as a smile appeared on my face. C’mon he said, i’ll intorduce you to the crew. I smiled and tought to myself, what a strange situation.
Written by Michael Kraus